This is going to sound so silly, but from a Twitter pitch to today, if you had asked me two years ago where my life would be with my writing, I certainly wouldn’t have said it was being a published author with NineStar Press (See my author page here!).
January 13, 2017, the email arrived. “We are pleased to offer you…” Well, let me assure you there was much schoolgirl screaming and jumping up and down from a bearish two hundred pound (don’t judge) gay guy. And yes, I was at my day job. And yes, they think I’m crazier now than before. But it’s all good.
Who would have thought that anyone, anywhere, would have enjoyed my rampaging demons? Not everyone appreciates apocalyptic mean-spirited, violent creatures. I mean, sure, I do…and yes my cubicle at work has a magnet that says “I don’t wrestle with my demons, I whisper sweet nothings to them.”
Turns out NineStar loved them as much as I do!
So then fast forward through several months of editing (and more editing, and then some more… and then wait, yes, one more time), the creation of cover art (and can I say, WOW), here I sit, a little over a year since my debut novel Daimonion: Book One of the Apocalypse was released. And then…this past July, Magic or Die (Inner Demons #1) was also released, and that too has some nasty demons residing within the characters of that story.
I have been asked, “Where does your love for demons come from?”
Oh, say, that’s a tricky question. Do I really love my demons? No. I don’t actually. They terrify the living bejesus out of me.
When I wrote Daimonion I deleted probably more than I kept. Some of the blood splatter and terribly nasty words, and actions just seemed to be too over the top. I pulled back. I put a filter on it. And I’m sure glad I did because reviews that have come in for Daimonion have expounded on the brutality and darkness in that world. And that makes me really happy because that’s exactly what I wanted. Demons are vicious. They are more than mean; they are the epitome of hedonistic delights. If it feels good, do it, and be damned the consequences or lives that are destroyed along the way.
They are every violent thought you’ve ever had acted out. They are the darkness within our souls personified.
Let’s face it – despite how cheery and sunshine filled your “Happy Good Morning, How Are You!” cubicle mate is at work, or that perky barista at the coffee shop, there’s something twisted lurking in every single one of us. There’s a great line from the Adam’s Family (1991) movie. Wednesday Adams went out trick or treating for Halloween, but she looked like she always did. So she was asked where her costume was. Her response? “I’m a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.”
And therein lies the key to my demons. I want them human looking. I think the most disturbing thing in the world is for one human to hurt another, and we all do it, every day. Sometimes in little ways, sometimes in big ways. Regardless, we are the demons.
Now having said that, rampaging humans isn’t nearly as interesting as human looking demons who morph and change when they need to, and so out comes the wings, and tails, and horns, and odd colored eyes. If we’re going to make monsters out of ourselves, let’s add in a good heaping tablespoon of non-human characteristics. For me, that shift, the change from human to demon represents the body’s degradation. This is what happens when you let the monster out.
Confession: I cannot watch horror movies. I’ve tried. They give me terrible nightmares, and thank you, but I don’t need any more assistance in creating horrifying things.
And yet, here I am writing about blood thirsty vampires, horses of the apocalypse, soulless witches and succubae.
There’s something thrilling about the dark. Now I’ve met some folks who are very comfortable completely immersed into the shadows. That’s not me. The dark is scary and anxiety-ridden. But I like to sit on the periphery, and watch. Straddling the line between dark and light, you see some interesting things. The faeries dance along that line…sometimes they’ll help you, and sometimes they’ll eat you. Occasionally you’ll find a ghost passing by who’s terribly lost and looking for the right direction. And when you’re least expecting it, the head of the beast pokes out from the darkest spot in the corner of the closet.
Scares the living shit out of you.
But I find they usually just sniff around, maybe attempt a couple of licks to taste the flesh, and then they melt back into the pit.
Wasn’t that fun? Did your mind just create some horrifying beastie that might keep you up tonight? Being scared is titillating. Endorphins surge through us and make us feel alive.
So, do I love my demons? No. I have a healthy respect for them. They entertain me, and they make me feel alive. They also give me permission to lift up the rocks that are buried at the bottom of my soul and inspect the creepy things that crawl out.
Don’t get me wrong, demons are great, and they seem to lurk at the periphery of all my writing. But I won’t forget about the others. There are so many creatures running amok, and if you look closely enough, you’ll see them. That girl on the train, she’s not human. She’s a Sylph. That guy at the end of the bar who’s really shy and has been looking at his mug of beer all night? Don’t kid yourself, he’s been watching you. He’s half djinn.
There’s beauty all around us, and there’s magic too, if you know where to look for it. If you listen closely, you’ll hear the trees talking to you, and you’ll find a garden gnome who will keep the slugs off your hostas if you’ll pay him with chocolate chip cookies once a week.
Our world is two sided, for everything that is sexy gorgeous, there’s something rank and dirty. If you’re willing to dig, if you’re not afraid to find the truth, you’ll see both sides in everything.
Trust me.
It’s there.
